Countdown

Sam starts counting the day Dean dies.

He counts anything, everything, eyes flicking and fingers tapping and he counts like a pre-schooler, naming out the numbers under his breath. He starts with big numbers, numbers that seem infinite because he’s trying for time and trying for life as well. He starts with big numbers. Counts down from there.

1,000: the number of miles to get to Lawrence so he can bury Dean’s ashes.

500: the number of road signs welcoming him into towns, cities, states, welcoming him into places he wishes he weren’t at

25: the number of gas stations he doesn’t bother paying at

15: the number of times he almost crashes the car

11: the number of times he means to crash the car

10: the number of days he hasn’t slept

9:  the number of times he’s looked over by accident to say “Hey Dean

8: the number of crossroads demons to turn him down

7: the number of demons that didn’t manage to escape, the number of demons he killed within seconds of their refusal

6: the number of times Led Zeppelin comes on the radio on the way to Lawrence

5: the number of times he sings along, screaming the lyrics till his vocal chords are shot

4: the number of nights he gets the hotel room for, so no one will check on him and fuck everything up

3: the number of notes, wills, apologies he leaves behind, one for Kevin, one for Garth, one for Cas

2: the number of bottles of sleeping pills he takes, chasing them down with a beer so they don’t taste so funny on his tongue

1: the number of words he sighs into the cheap motel pillow with sleepy and sluggish limbs that creak with aching and yearning, the number of words he reassures himself with, knowing he’ll be okay soon, Dean

0: the number of breaths and heart beats Sam Winchester has left in him, lying alone in a crummy motel room and wishing with every fiber of his body that he ends up in heaven

15 Feb 13 @ 7:01 pm  —  reblog
  1. my-wingless-angle reblogged this from dimpleforyourthoughts
  2. satanproblems reblogged this from fallencastiel
  3. jarediswhyigetupinthemorning reblogged this from dimpleforyourthoughts
  4. can-i-suck-pete-wentz-dick reblogged this from nyxocity
  5. rosesandsaltyglass reblogged this from iicarustiel
  6. arcaneescapist reblogged this from archivedfireworksinafield
  7. shinokoi reblogged this from dimpleforyourthoughts
  8. whiz-and-nips reblogged this from surrealserenade
  9. japanese-fantasy reblogged this from nyxocity
  10. saintbucky reblogged this from nyxocity
  11. agentwashingtin reblogged this from beverlyktz
  12. clutter-buck reblogged this from dimpleforyourthoughts
  13. scottythehotgirl reblogged this from nyxocity
  14. dustybuttholes reblogged this from dimpleforyourthoughts
  15. pooorunfortunatesoul reblogged this from iicarustiel
  16. abelarded reblogged this from agentalianovna
  17. swedishpolarbears reblogged this from dimpleforyourthoughts
  18. youatthebarricadelistentothis32 reblogged this from jaredsmoosekateer
  19. attracted-to-ackles reblogged this from samlicker-81
  20. muscialponeh reblogged this from dimpleforyourthoughts
  21. agentalianovna reblogged this from nyxocity
  22. thats-inconvenient reblogged this from kaid-the-kitten
  23. doctorleekies reblogged this from evilclownapocalypse
OS